I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
