So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
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I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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