He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Drake has all the answers
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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