This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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