i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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