i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
