Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
