Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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