She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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