My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
