Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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