I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I need a burrito and a hug.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
