my phone needs a breathalizer
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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