Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
