yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
