ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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