Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
