Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
