I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
