I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
