its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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