I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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