Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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