I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dicks are not precious.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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