I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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