Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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