Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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