Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
