I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
