I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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