You made me cry and you don't even care
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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