It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
