Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I currently don't understand fingers.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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