Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
40s are totally the cure
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
