Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just googled if crying burns calories
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
