i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
