Life is so much better after having sex.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
