I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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