"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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