I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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