I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
