found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
