ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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