I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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