Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
