While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She bit a glass in half.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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