I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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