look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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