Im at strip club and am horny
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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