i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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