My friends, they love my intelligence
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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