so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
