After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
