Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
