she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
