he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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