nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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