ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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