I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
