The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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